DISCOVER
EDITORIAL DISCRETION
When the Music Disappears
Two words brought the music distribution relationship between Kolipoki Rekordz and its longtime distributor to an end:
Editorial Discretion.
The decision has already been made. The relationship has ended. And across the Kolipoki Rekordz catalog, the consequences are already becoming impossible to miss.
Some of the music is simply gone.
White Noize can no longer be found on the major streaming platforms where their music was previously available. Neither can GUTTĖRKISS.
Even Deja Storm has disappeared.
For listeners who discover these artists through Kolipoki World, social media or somewhere else, searching for their music now leads to an unusual result:
Nothing.
Editorial Discretion
There was no dramatic public falling out between Kolipoki Rekordz and its distributor. Instead, the distributor exercised what it calls Editorial Discretion—the ability to decide what music it is willing to distribute and who it is willing to continue doing business with.
For Kolipoki Rekordz, that discretion ultimately meant the end of the relationship.
It also means the label can no longer submit new music through the service.
The bigger concern, however, is the existing catalog.
Music from several Kolipoki Rekordz artists has already been removed, and additional releases could become unavailable as the separation continues to work its way through the catalog.
That leaves the label facing a problem it hasn’t dealt with before: plenty of music, with no permanent distribution home.
Now What?
Kolipoki Rekordz isn’t treating this as the end of its music operation.
New distribution options are being explored, with the goal of returning missing releases to streaming services and creating a new path for future music.
Exactly what that will look like hasn’t been announced.
For now, Kolipoki World itself becomes more important.
White Noize hasn’t disappeared because a search result says they have.
GUTTĖRKISS hasn’t stopped making noise.
Deja Storm hasn’t suddenly gone quiet.
The artists are still here. Their music is still part of Kolipoki Rekordz. And new music is still being created.
The frustrating reality is that, right now, some of it simply cannot be discovered where music is supposed to be discovered.
All because of two words:
Editorial Discretion.
The distribution deal is over.
The music isn’t.
INTERVIEW
WHITE NOIZE: “THIS RIGHT HERE IS WHAT I WANT. FOREVER.”
Kolipoki World staff writer Maya Brooks sits down with Sparky Blitz, Crank Watts and Mad Mikey to talk new music, two unreleased albums, “Train Ride,” their day jobs—and whatever the hell happens when you try to interview White Noize.
There are interviews where you sit down, ask questions and get answers.
And then there’s White Noize.
Sparky Blitz, Crank Watts and Mad Mikey aren’t particularly interested in making my job easy. There’s weed. There’s beer. There’s a bong being passed around. At one point, Crank takes his pants off.
Somewhere in the middle of all of it, I actually manage to interview them.
MAYA: What have the three of you been doing lately?
SPARKY BLITZ: Drugs. Laughs. Same bullshit.
CRANK WATTS: Just living.
SPARKY: Laughs. Fuck yeah, dude.
MAYA: Okay, so absolutely nothing has changed. Good to know. Laughs. But seriously, from the outside it looks like there’s been a lot of White Noize activity lately. Have you guys actually been working on new music, or is it more just making shit whenever the three of you feel like it?
SPARKY: Hell yeah. We actually have a lot of music. Two fucking albums. Motherfuckers want to hear it too.
MAYA: Two albums? You just casually dropped that in there. Are we talking two finished White Noize albums sitting there ready to go, or two albums you guys are still working on?
MAD MIKEY: Well, they’re basically ready.
CRANK: Fuck yeah! We went hard as fuck on them too. These assholes won’t let us finish them!
SPARKY: Yo! Crank is always talking shit.
MAYA: Laughs. There it is. I was wondering how long it would take before you guys started blaming each other. But Crank just said something interesting: “They won’t let us finish them.” Who the hell is they?
MIKEY: Shut up, Crank!
MAYA: Oh, no. Absolutely not. You don’t get to “shut up, Crank” your way out of that one. Who won’t let you finish the albums?
SPARKY: Just the brass. Those dickheads. They always trying to put us down and shit. Like they don’t give a fuck about us. But whatever. We ride. Fuck yeah we do!
MAYA: The brass meaning the people above you at Kolipoki Rekordz? What are they actually doing that makes you feel like they’re trying to put you down?
CRANK: Motherfuckers don’t tell us shit. That’s that!
MAYA: Laughs. Okay. Crank has officially issued the statement. Sparky, is that the problem? You guys feel like nobody tells White Noize what the hell is going on?
SPARKY: Whatever. We’re probably too stoned to notice anyways. I know I am. And Mikey is always stoned.
Mikey takes a bong rip.
MAYA: …Okay. Never mind. Laughs. I withdraw the question.
MAYA: So let me try to get us back to the actual music before I get contact high just sitting here. You said you’ve basically got two albums ready. What’s different about what White Noize has been making lately compared to the stuff people already know you for?
Mikey holds the bong out to me.
I decline.
SPARKY: Dude. Yo! We’re getting in it. We’ve always lived this shit. But like—we’re getting better!
CRANK: The songs bang, bitch!
MAYA: Laughs. But I actually want to stay on what Sparky just said. You’ve always lived this shit, but now you feel like you’re getting better at putting that life into the music. What changed?
SPARKY: Everything. The music. The life. The girls. Oh fuck, the girls, man! Still skating. Still riding. And still banging hotties all day.
MAYA: There it is. I was waiting for the girls to make their way into this somehow. Laughs. So when you hear these new albums compared to the older White Noize stuff, do they sound more like the three of you actually sound in real life?
Mikey takes another hit.
CRANK: You need to come on tour with us! That will show you what’s up!
SPARKY: Or just listen to our music. Stop being a pencil pusher.
MAYA: A pencil pusher? Fuck you, Sparky. I’m sitting in a room with three grown men and a bong trying to conduct an interview. I think I’ve earned a little respect here.
MAYA: And touring with White Noize sounds less like a work assignment and more like something I’d have to explain to my family afterward.
MAYA: But since Sparky apparently wants me to “just listen to the music,” there’s one song I wanted to ask about anyway.
MAYA: “Train Ride.” What the hell is that song about?
SPARKY: Fuck yeah! I love that song. I can’t explain it, but we will be happy to show you!
MIKEY: Yo! Damn, Sparky, calm down, bro.
CRANK: I’m down.
MAYA: Wait. You can’t explain it, but all three of you are suddenly volunteering to show me? What exactly would you have to show me that you can’t just tell me, Sparky?
SPARKY: The song, girl. It’s a masterpiece. Well, I mean… you got a piece. Winks.
MAYA: Oh, fuck off. Laughs. I walked right into that one. No, seriously. You just called “Train Ride” a masterpiece. What makes that song so special to you guys?
CRANK: HAVE YOU EVEN HEARD THE SONG?
MAYA: I’ve heard the song, Crank! That’s why I’m asking you about it. I can hear what’s happening on the record. I’m asking where the hell it came from. Was “Train Ride” based on something that actually happened?
CRANK: Our whole life is a train ride, girl.
MAYA: Okay… that sounded suspiciously profound coming from you. Laughs. What do you mean your whole life is a train ride? Is that actually what the song means, or are you fucking with me right now?
CRANK: This bitch!
SPARKY: You don’t sound like you heard the song, or caught the meaning.
MIKEY: Come on. It’s about guys taking turns fucking a bitch! Giving her that goddamn train ride, motherfucker!
Mikey passes the bong to Crank.
MAYA: Ohhh. That kind of train ride.
MAYA: Okay, Crank, I take it back. That wasn’t profound at all. Laughs.
MAYA: And now Sparky’s whole “we’d be happy to show you” comment makes a hell of a lot more sense.
MAYA: So whose idea was it to turn that into a White Noize song in the first place?
SPARKY: Mine. I write all the music. These damn girls love me.
MAYA: Of course it was yours. How much of what you write is actually shit that happened to you guys, and how much is Sparky just being Sparky and making shit up?
Crank pauses mid-bong rip.
CRANK: We never make shit up. “My Best Friend’s Dad” is about my dad. That motherfucker! Sparky wrote that shit one stoned night.
MAYA: Wait. “My Best Friend’s Dad” is about your actual dad?
CRANK: It’s my pops. The whole song is about him. Crazy-ass motherfucker! Always drunk. Always partying. Shit! That’s what’s up!
MAYA: And Sparky wrote the whole damn thing after getting stoned one night. Did Crank know you were writing a song about his dad?
MIKEY: Nah. We just recorded it. Who cares! It’s music!
MAYA: Laughs. “Who cares, it’s music.” I’m starting to think that might actually be the White Noize mission statement. Has anybody ever heard themselves in one of your songs and gotten pissed off about it?
CRANK: Who cares!
SPARKY: I’ll say what the fuck I want. Have you heard these bitches GUTTĖRKISS? Yeah! I don’t give a fuck either.
MAYA: Oh, shit. There it is. Since you brought them up, Sparky—what the fuck is your problem with GUTTĖRKISS?
SPARKY: Nah. It’s love. I guess. But like, we’re here to stay! I think the label might be afraid of us. But guess what? We don’t give a fuck. Fuck you. Pay me.
MAYA: So GUTTĖRKISS isn’t the enemy. The brass might be, depending on which bong rip we’re on. Got it.
MAYA: But you keep coming back to the label. Why would Kolipoki Rekordz be afraid of you guys?
CRANK: Do you actually know who you’re talking to?
Mikey smokes.
MAYA: Yeah. I’m beginning to understand the problem. Laughs. But I’m serious. What do you think they’re afraid is going to happen if they just take the leash off and let you do whatever the fuck you want?
SPARKY: Exactly!
MAYA: That was not an answer, Sparky. Laughs.
MAYA: But maybe that is the answer.
MAYA: So let me flip it around. Forget the label. Forget the brass. If White Noize had complete control starting tomorrow—no one telling you when to release shit, what to record or what you can’t do—what’s the first thing you three would do?
Crank stands up.
CRANK: WE’RE GOING STREAKING!
And with that, his pants come off.
He takes off running.
MAYA: OH, FOR FUCK’S SAKE! CRANK! Put your goddamn pants back on!
I look at Sparky and Mikey.
I’m not even going to pretend that didn’t perfectly answer my question.
MAYA: Is this what touring with White Noize is actually like?
SPARKY: This ain’t shit.
MAYA: This ain’t shit? Jesus Christ. Okay, now I’m almost afraid to ask, but Crank already invited me earlier. What happens on a White Noize tour that makes this look tame?
SPARKY: Train Rides!
MAYA: Nope. Nope. We are not circling back to you offering me a fucking Train Ride. Laughs.
MAYA: I’m starting to understand why your tour stories probably can’t go on the website.
MAYA: But there has to be more to White Noize on the road than sex, weed and Crank losing his pants. What’s the craziest thing that’s happened to you guys while actually trying to play a show?
MIKEY: Bitch! We get down.
MAYA: I have gathered that, Mikey. Believe me. That part of the interview is extremely well documented at this point. Laughs.
MAYA: But I’m talking about the shows. Give me a White Noize show that went completely off the fucking rails.
SPARKY: Fuck! What time is it?
MAYA: Why? You got somewhere you need to be? Don’t tell me White Noize has somewhere else to go in the middle of my damn interview.
Crank finally stops running.
SPARKY: We got day jobs still. Fucking asshole boss is a dickhead.
MAYA: Wait. Hold the fuck up.
MAYA: You guys still have day jobs?
MAYA: Two albums sitting there, playing shows, making White Noize music—and then you’ve gotta clock in somewhere and deal with some asshole boss?
MAYA: What the hell do the three members of White Noize do for work when you’re not being White Noize?
MIKEY: FastLube!
MAYA: FastLube?! Laughs. Of fucking course.
MAYA: All three of you work at FastLube together? Please tell me somebody actually lets you guys work on people’s cars.
CRANK: Bubba can’t tell me shit. I’m working tomorrow in my underwear.
MAYA: I don’t think Bubba’s gonna be nearly as impressed with that plan as you are, Crank.
MAYA: Is Bubba the asshole boss Sparky was talking about?
SPARKY: Fuck that dick!
MAYA: I’m gonna take that as a very strong yes. What did Bubba do to earn “fucking asshole boss” and “fuck that dick” in the span of about thirty seconds?
CRANK: He’s a dick! Always been one. Fuck working!
MIKEY: Yeah! Fuck work!
MAYA: This is incredible. You guys are talking about wanting the label to unleash White Noize, meanwhile Bubba is apparently struggling just to get you to show up wearing pants.
MAYA: But seriously—two albums basically ready, people wanting the music, and you three are still clocking in at FastLube.
MAYA: Do you actually want White Noize to get big enough that you can quit working for Bubba, or do you guys not give a shit about becoming famous?
Sparky takes a drink of his beer and hits the bong.
SPARKY: Already famous!
MAYA: Of course you are. My mistake. Here I am interviewing a celebrity while he drinks a beer and hits a bong before heading to FastLube.
MAYA: Alright, Mr. Already Famous—then what’s left? If fame isn’t what White Noize is chasing, what the fuck do you actually want out of this?
By now, Crank has dozed off.
Mikey is still smoking.
Sparky looks around.
SPARKY: This. This right here is what I want! Forever!
MAYA: This? This exact life?
MAYA: What is it about this—the boys, the music, the chaos, all of it—that makes you look at it and say, “Yeah. I want this forever”?
SPARKY: Everything.